Alternative to morning sex

Today at 6 o’clock in the morning — mind you, it’s Monday — Dexter, our dog, peed on our bedroom’s wooden tiles. And quite an impressive amount, too.

So I had to jump right out of bed, barely seeing what I’m doing, and I spent the very first 30 minutes of this fucking week smelling it and washing the floor after gathering it.

I love my dog, but really… on a Monday morning?